Declan's Birth Story

This is the story of how our Declan James came into our world; fast and peacefully at home. I also wrote up my birth stories of Judah and Willow after they were born. If you're like me and love reading birth stories, you'll find Judah's HERE and Willow's HERE.

Everything Changes in Month 8

40 weeks pregnant

My 4th pregnancy, 3rd baby. We felt ready and prepared. Then the Coronavirus hit the USA in early March 2020, about a month before my due date. I have processed through many of the emotions I was feeling during the last month of pregnancy in my personal journal and with friends and family, but I will say that it definitely wasn't easy. As things were changing so rapidly for all of us everywhere, it was hard to keep up with how and where we were going to have this baby. We'd considered a home birth when I was about 4-5 months pregnant, but decided to stick with the hospital birth for various reasons. Still, I couldn't quite drop the feeling in my gut about having a home birth, and I had several dreams about it both before and after we had met with a midwife in October 2019.

We had moved forward with the plan of having this baby at the same place where Judah and Willow were born. We did have a very positive experience both times there and felt supported in my birthing choices and plan with the nurses and OB staff. Then, in mid-March, when hospitals started limiting support persons allowed in with laboring moms, everything changed for us. My heart broke for all of the pregnant women going into labor that week who would be without the support they expected. I reached out to the midwife I had contacted and met with late 2019 and asked if she was taking on new patients, in light of the changes going on in hospitals. After a very reassuring conversation with her, we were set on a home birth and thus began preparing our new birth plan 3 weeks before my due date.  I had always wanted to do a water birth, so we rented a birthing pool from our midwife and gathered our birth kit and all supplies we would need as soon as we could, as we had no idea when this little guy would decide to show up. There's such a sense of urgency at the end of pregnancy and adding such last minute changes amidst the craziness of a worldwide pandemic was a lot for me. Still, I cannot deny this deep inner peace that I felt once we decided on the home birth and having Susan, our midwife, as our point person. I also felt deep relief that both my Doula, Rachel, and Phil would be a part of the special day as well. They were an amazing support to me during Judah and Willow's deliveries and knowing they'd both be there was a balm for my anxiety.

(If interested, you can read more about my thoughts leading up to the last minute change to a home birth in an article I was interviewed for in our local paper HERE)

Weeks of Early Labor

Having had two babies before, I was quite familiar with what early labor feels like. I had been having lower back pain/pressure, low pelvic pressure and Braxton Hicks contractions for weeks, since about the time we were all told to stay home and don't see anyone else except the people living under the same roof as you. The night before Easter, Saturday April 11, I slept very poorly from having off and on contractions all night long. They weren't regular or getting stronger, but they were enough to keep me awake and make me think I'd wake up ready to have an Easter baby. But, alas, Easter morning I woke up and everything had stopped. I felt as good as a 40+ week pregnant mama can. Phil and I even managed to cook an Easter ham, mashed potatoes and veggies for an Easter dinner that night (FYI, in hindsight, would not recommend doing that 500 months pregnant. There's a difference between trying to make a quarantine holiday special for your kids and just overdoing it..we definitely chose the latter, ha! But it was still delicious and no baby came that day).

Declan's Birthday

Monday, April 13, 2020: I went to bed the night before feeling all the normal late pregnancy aches, but nothing specific. I woke up around 3:30am Monday morning needing to use the bathroom. I tried to fall back to sleep but my body was ramping up for birth and sleep was not happening. I started feeling contractions that went from my lower back all the way around my mid-section, so I knew these were not Braxton Hicks. They felt different and they weren't going away. I tried to time them by looking at the glow of numbers on my night stand clock, but my head was pretty foggy and I can't remember how regular they really were - possibly coming every 10-15 minutes if I had to guess. I made several more trips to the bathroom and then decided I should probably wake up Phil. At 5am I shook Phil awake and said "I think I'm labor." He popped up and started getting things ready in our bedroom and timing my contractions. At this point, they were coming every 5-6 minutes and lasting about 30 seconds or so. I asked Phil if this really was the real deal as I was afraid to call Susan and Rachel over for nothing. After he supported me through two or three contractions, he made the call to call everyone, despite my are you sure?? him over and over (and thank God he called them...read on!).

He called our Doula Rachel, Susan our midwife, and my mom to come and get the kids at 7AM when they woke up. Rachel arrived around 5:30am and started immediately helping me through each contraction, putting counterpressure on my back. I was listening to my Hypnobabies, kneeling on the floor and leaning over our bed. Phil had asked Susan on the phone if he should start filling up the birthing tub, but she said to wait until she got to us. I remember popping out one of my headphones and asking Phil "Why is the tub not being filled up?" he told me why and I told him he needed to start filling it up because it takes time to fill and I knew things were moving along quickly. He obliged (good guy, my hubs).

From about when Rachel arrived at 5:30am to a few minutes after 6am, things ramped up very quickly. I knew these contractions, I'd experienced them before with Judah and Willow, my body was gearing up to push this baby out. I asked Phil and Rachel "Is Susan here yet?" and they assured me she'd be here any minute. Phil texted her at 6:05am letting her know things were moving along quickly, and by then she was already in our driveway. She came in to the bedroom and I was ready to get into the birthing pool. It felt super hot so Phil added some cold water to cool it down. I waited a few more minutes but then knew I needed to get in the water if I wanted this baby born in the tub. I felt my water start to leak as Phil and Rachel helped me into the tub. I held on to the edge of the tub, facing Phil, squatted down and felt my water break completely. Then, the urge to push. I'm not sure if I could ever find the words to describe the feelings in this moment. Third time around and it feels just as surreal each time. So raw. So natural. So earth-like. The moments before pushing new life into the world outside of the womb are so intense. It is painful, yes, but it's so empowering. Never in my life have I felt more alive or more in control of my body and its capabilities.

I gave a push and heard someone say that his head was out. With Susan supporting the baby's head, I took a few deep breaths before pushing again, and out he came into the water. A rush of love,

A rush of emotions; Susan checking Declan's heart beat

hormones and tears. I reached down and scooped him up, sitting down in the tub so I could hold him on my chest. That was the most peaceful and beautiful way I could ever have imagined the moments after birth to be. We sat in the tub for 20 minutes together, just like that, waiting for the umbilical cord to finish pulsing before cutting the cord. Susan had me reach down and feel the umbilical cord and whoa is that amazing! I could literally feel the blood pulsing through it as it continued to provide nourishment to Declan even outside of the womb. 

Big brother Judah holding the flashlight while Phil cuts the cord

At 6:30am, Phil went to go get Judah to bring him in to meet his new brother. Phil said when he went in to go get Judah he said he had a surprise for him. When he told him that his baby brother was here, Judah gave a huge smile and was giddy. He carried him into our bedroom and Judah was carefully taking everything in. A slow smile spread across his face when he saw Declan in my arms in the tub. He held the flashlight so that Susan could see in the tub to help Phil cut the umbilical cord. It was such a special moment that I'm so glad our boy got to be a part of. After that, I got out of the tub, birthed the placenta, and then laid in my bed while Declan had his first latch breastfeeding. Rachel took some pictures for us, Phil got me water, food and brought in Willow to meet Declan, and Susan started cleaning our bedroom and reassuring me with her calming voice and words about post partum care for me and baby. My heart was full. So very, very full.

Declan James, born April 13, 2020 at 6:18am. From waking up Phil at 5am not sure if we should call anyone yet, to him arriving before my mom even came to get the kids, it was a very fast delivery of our precious boy. 8lb, 6oz and 20 inches of pure perfection. We are so in love, and so glad you are here!

First family photo, day after birth

If it's any indication by my post, I would recommend my midwife and her practice in a second. The care and reassurance she provided to us (and still is as of the date I'm writing this, for post partum and pediatric care!) was absolutely priceless and invaluable. If you are local to the Hudson Valley, NY area and pregnant, please read more about them HERE. The care Susan has provided to our entire family unit during pregnancy, labor, birth and post partum has convinced me that midwives should run the world. And no there is no sponsorship or affiliation in this post, I'm just simply sharing our positive experience to hopefully help others have a similar one :)