Neti Pot

There are many reasons winter is not my favorite season: the cold & flu passing around is just one of them. I caught the cold that has been going around our house so I've been looking for remedies that are safe to take and do while breastfeeding. Naturally, being brought up by two hippie parents, I turned to herbs and all things non-chemical-like. One such remedy is a neti pot. This little genie lamp looking pot is a curious little contraption that you pour into one nostril, tilt your head, and wait for the saline solution to come dribbling out of your other nostril. Sound odd? It is. Never would I have imagined myself trying this, but seeing as I've been doing a lot of new things lately (becoming a mother, giving birth, surviving on less sleep), I figured, why not?

I was not quite this enthused.

I turned to Youtube to watch some how-to videos, sterilized some water, and poured the solution into my right nostril as instructed by Youtube and the neti pot instructions. I'll tell you, it wasn't exactly comfortable. In fact, I chickened out a few times before I allowed the solution to go through my entire nasal canal. There was a moment when I was going to give up altogether - why try it if it's going to be uncomfortable? But then I thought, if I don't give it an honest try, I'll never know if it was worth it. And so I did. I breathed through my mouth, tilted my head again, and let the solution flow all the way through. It was a bizarre feeling, but it worked! After I was done doing both sides, I could breathe. It didn't cure my cold and I still got stuffy again a bit later, but it did the job it promised it would do - temporarily relieve my symptoms.

Sometimes (ok, most of the time) it's easy for me to be stuck in the why make myself uncomfortable moment instead of seeing the bigger picture. Instead of pressing forward through the not-so-comfortable part to reach the reward on the other end. Most things in my life that bring me joy have come out of enduring discomfort, even pain. Marrying Phil followed an eight year long distance relationship. Having Judah followed losing our first child and trying longer than anticipated to get pregnant again. God has been reminding me that he sees the bigger picture. When I'm stuck in the here and now and the why God? he is looking at what will come out of the discomfort.

When I'm sick with a sinus headache, stuffy nose and the inability to get a good night's rest, I wallow in I've never felt so crappy. But, this too shall pass. I will be healthy again. I will feel better and I will look back on this cold as a blip in the span of my life, if I even remember it all.

Being in a place of discomfort sucks. There's no other way to put it. But, looking back at all of the discomfort I had to endure to get where I am today, I wouldn't change a thing. I wouldn't have married my best friend if I had given up on our long distance relationship. I wouldn't have Judah had I gotten pregnant sooner rather than later. And, I wouldn't have had a clear sinus had I given up on the little neti pot. Don't dismiss something that's uncomfortable or give up if you're in a time of pain and discomfort; something beautiful is waiting for you on the other side.

Two Months

It's been nearly two months since my world changed in the best way possible. Phil and I were talking about it yesterday and he said he can't believe it's been two months. In some ways, neither can I. But in others, it feels like Judah has been here with us for much, much longer.

Getting to know Judah has been like learning a very complicated, yet rewarding and beautiful dance. In the beginning, the routine looks daunting and seems impossible. How will I ever figure this out? But you take it day by day, step by step, and slowly, you start to learn the moves. Oh, that's his hungry cry. Each move you learn feels like such an accomplishment and a HUGE step forward. Whoa, did he just sleep for FOUR hours overnight?! Slowly, the routine comes together and your body can recite it with more fluidity and grace. Why yes, I am cooking myself some lunch while standing up nursing my son in the kitchen and managing not to burn the food or choke my baby.

No makeup, no filter, just motherhood. A lazy morning with my baby.

I am no expert at this dance, but I feel more and more comfortable and think I am managing. Every time I see Judah smile at me, it makes me think I may even be managing quite well. That smile. The other day, Judah had just finished nursing and I put him in his Rock N Play so I could eat my breakfast. I was famished and couldn't wait to take the first bite when I promptly dropped my breakfast sandwich on the floor. Perhaps it was the lack of sleep, or maybe I'm just clumsy. Either way, I wasn't the least bit impressed with myself. I sighed loudly and was about to tell Judah how silly his mom is when I look over and Judah has this HUGE smile on his face and is staring right at me. He then proceeds to give me adorable baby coo after coo. It'll be ok mom. Consider my heart melted.

At two months, I'm feeling more like a mom and less like a zombie. At two months, I can usually guess what Judah needs based on his cry or time of day. I can multitask like never before. I don't feel like leaving the house with Judah and all of our gear is as much of a huge mountain to climb as before. I don't think the world will end if I need to nurse in public. I'm not a pro at this mom-thing and that's ok. This is a big revelation (to me) people.

This week, we're dealing with Judah's first cold. It's heartbreaking, but I think it's harder on me and Phil than it is on Judah. He's still smiling, cooing and exploring the world around him as he wonders where this funny new cough came from. This cold is one of many more uncharted 'firsts' to experience with my sweet boy. We will take each one step by step, and, with practice, we'll perfect this dance together.