I am utterly in awe of God's design of the human body, the female one to be specific. Don't get me wrong, the male body is pretty darn amazing too, but I've been thinking a lot about what my body, mind and soul are capable of lately.
Most nights, whether or not Judah is sleeping in bed with us or in his crib, my body awakens - all on its own - just seconds before I hear Judah stirring on the monitor or feel him stir in bed with us. My body, this mama bear, knows when her baby is going to wake. I can just feel ahead of time when our baby is going to need replenishing, or maybe just a soothing back to sleep. To be reminded that, yes, everything is OK, mom and dad are still here, go back to sleep little love.
It's that deep, deep connection between mama and baby that has me in awe, and sometimes, even in tears. I have absolutely no doubt that babies and their daddies also have a very special bond, but of course I can only write about my own personal experience. I have wanted to take a snapshot of this moment in our life for quite some time. I call it a moment, but of course it's longer than that. It does feel longer now - the night wakings (which are getting much less frequent, thank both God and time, both of which I give credit to), the nap scheduling, the daily life of a mom and her 5-month old baby. BUT, I know that when I look back upon this time in years to come, it will only feel like a moment. A fleeting moment that passed all too quickly.
I want to take a snapshot because this time is just so, so precious. My little 5-month old and I, we really are enjoying life together. I love when he watches me get my breakfast ready in the morning while he sits in his Rock-N-Play (which he is quickly outgrowing, mind you. He can almost hiney-push his way out of it!). He chews on his favorite toy or his hand and waits until I look over to give me a huge grin. He watches me bop along to whatever song is playing on my iPod and sometimes laugh at how silly I look. I love filling our week up with daily outings, whether that's to a mom group, to Aunt Jen's, out for a walk, to lunch with a friend, or wherever the wind may take us. I also love the days when it's just me and Judah figuring out the day's schedule at home.
But, what I am especially grateful for and what I have felt so blessed to be experiencing lately is breastfeeding. I don't think I ever fully expected the depth of the bond that would come with breastfeeding your child. Those moments when it's just me and Judah, I love taking in all of his perfection in his tiny form. He grasps at me and looks up at me now while nursing. Sometimes he gets so enthralled while staring at me that he stops to give me a smile. Hi mom. My heart is so full of love for this boy and nursing him is such a special connection - I am so proud of my body for giving him the gift of nourishment and love.
If I were to take an actual snapshot of this moment in my life, it would be a lot of things. Busy, but also slow. Loud, but also quiet. Tired, but also full of life. This life as a mom is pretty darn wonderful. I continue to be in awe of everything that blooms from love. Family. Connection. Community. I look forward to each new snapshot that this life will bring.
