The Start of Something New

This is how the birth of our little man started. I tried to be very descriptive because I don't want to forget a single detail! If you're interested, feel free to read to share in our joyful day :)

Estimated due date: December 27, 2014

Monday, December 15: First day of maternity leave. Feeling great, took a long walk and had lunch with a dear friend.

Tuesday, December 16: Lower back pain began in the morning. Tried many different positions around the home to ease the pain, including yoga, hot shower, massage.

Wednesday, December 17: Felt nauseated in the morning, back pain continued throughout the day. At times, so intense it brought me to tears. Continued with trying home remedies to ease pain.

Thursday, December 18: Had an OB appointment in the morning and my first exam. Was told I'm fully effaced, 3cm and baby is in station 0 (deep in pelvis)! Tried (and failed) not to get my hopes up that this baby is coming soon. Lower back pain subsided in the afternoon after a long nap. Took a walk, rested.

Friday, December 19: Lower back pain continued off and on throughout the day, other symptoms including diarrhea and bouts of energy bursts.

Saturday, December 20: Felt great and had hardly any symptoms all day.

Judah's birthday, Sunday, December 21...

I'd been wondering for several days when our little man would make his appearance. To find out I was 3cm on Thursday and then to have the symptoms 'disappear' by Saturday, I was starting to feel like maybe my OB had made a mistake, even though that was not likely. My thoughts and emotions floated back and forth from wanting to just meet our little guy and then trying to just enjoy our last few days with just the two of us.

I woke up Sunday morning feeling fine. My lower back pain began in the afternoon around 12:30PM. I contacted my Doula to let her know since she'd been on-call since my 37th week. She told me to relax and see if they would go away like before. Then, shortly after hanging up with her, came the moment: "Phil, I think my bag of waters just leaked." Oh. This is happening!

It wasn't a huge gush like you see in movies (although it may be that way for many women). My contractions started soon after that as well and were coming quite quickly and intense.

Rachel, our Doula, made her arrival to our house by 1PM. I worked through a few contractions at home before we decided to make our walk across the street to the hospital to get checked out. I got a room right away and was given the external monitors to hear that sweet little heartbeat and make sure everything was ok. The nurse then informed me, after an exam, that I was 7-8cm. I was very focused on my Hypnobabies that was playing in my headphones but I do remember hearing that tidbit of information. Whoa..that means I'll be pushing soon. How am I doing this? I'm doing this; I can't believe I'm doing this. The focus in that moment is indescribable and one that I'm sure I'll only fully recall once I'm in the situation again.

After about an hour and a half, I was told I was fully dilated and could push if I felt the urge. Boy what a switch it felt to go from contractions to knowing that I'd be pushing my baby out. That was, by far, the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. The most forefront thought the entire time was I have the ability to push our baby out and then we'll get to meet him. Phil and Rachel were both rock stars
coaching me through every single push and motivating me to meet our son. Then, just when I thought I had absolutely nothing left in me and the doctor would have to help me get him out, I pushed our little boy into the world at 7:23PM on December 21, 2014. The doctor placed him right on my chest and, wow, how is that moment even describable with words? I couldn't believe this baby came out of me and that he was all mine and Phil's. Pure joy, relief, love, exhaustion, oxytocin.

The days since have been new, tiring, rewarding, full of ups and downs as Phil and I maneuver our way through taking care of this new little person. One of the kind nurses at the hospital said it best: welcome to parenthood, the hardest yet most rewarding thing you'll ever do. 

There's no way I would've been able to give birth without my wonderful support team. Thank you God for the wonderful birthing nurses who dedicate their lives to making this experience a positive one. A fellow recent mama shared her experience of the delivery nurses that I share wholeheartedly, check it out here. My husband and Doula were both exactly what I needed as well; massaging me through each contraction and coaching me through each push. Thank God for community, thank God for each other, and I thank God for our little Judah Nathaniel who has changed our lives for the better.

Grateful

How can this belly possibly get any bigger?

I will never again take for granted putting on pants, socks, shoes..basically anything that requires bending over after this baby is born...

Hm, who knew I could twist this way: while maneuvering shaving my legs in the shower.

These are all some recent thoughts that I've been having, multiple times throughout the weeks, that I'm sure every pregnant mama has had at some point or another.

I've had a lot of time for reflection over the past 8 months and while I am entering my 35th week of pregnancy, one thought has overpowered all of the others. It's more than just a thought though, but rather an overpowering sense of complete and utter gratefulness. Grateful. How can one word sum up how I have felt for the past 35 weeks? It can't, really. But I will try to let it.

My drive home from work every day usually includes listening to worship music and talking to our wee little one growing inside of me. I think about what it will be like to drive with him behind me in his car seat. What it will be like to cuddle with him for hours in the home where we're awaiting his arrival. What it will be like to watch Phil embrace fatherhood with the selflessness and confidence that has been such a rock throughout my pregnancy. And, over and over, I am brought to tears of feeling so completely grateful.

If you don't already know this about me: I'm a planner. I love to read, research and gain as much knowledge about something I'm passionate about as possible. This pregnancy has been no exception. However, even through reading and knowing exactly what my body is doing to prepare for birth, it still amazes me that it knows exactly what to do without my even thinking about it.

With 5 weeks left (until my due date, which is really a "month date") I can't say pregnancy is all peaches and cream. I have been so very lucky to have had a comfortable pregnancy, but, these days, this picture here pretty much sums up my attempts at sleep :) Bending over is also pretty much nonexistent so if I drop something on your floor, please excuse me while I don't event attempt to pick it back up. My thoughts can't help but go to the big day and just what exactly it will be like. I'm a little nervous but mostly excited. Excitement to see just what my body, and mind, are capable of. And oh so excited to meet the little person that is half of me and half of Phil.

34 Weeks

Becoming a Mom

I've always been one of those people that has trouble living in the now. I'm always looking forward to the next weekend, to the next vacation, our next milestone. But, friends, in this moment in my life, I am forcing myself to slow down and inhale the sweetness that is the present. I want to remember every feeling, good or bad. I want to revel in every stretch and change my body and life is going through now. Because friends, you see, I'm growing a little HUMAN at this present moment.

Phil and I have gone through a lot to get to this point, a lot more than I ever would have predicted at the beginning of our journey to grow our family. Last year was, hands down, the hardest year Phil and I have ever been through, together and individually. But, thanks to our merciful God, friends and family, we made it through with emotional scars that are a road map to our journey today. Right now.

And, right now, I'm pregnant and in absolute bliss. Truly, deeply and with my whole heart, I love being pregnant! When I sit down and really think about what my body has been doing these past 19 weeks, my mind is absolutely blown. I'm so amazed by how God designed women's bodies to grow and adapt to a little person being formed inside the uterus. From the beginning of my pregnancy to today, our little one has grown from the size of a sesame seed to a grapefruit - what?! At this point, our baby can swallow, suck their thumb and hear the sounds outside. I am just so in love.

I don't know if it's because God thought I needed a break from the hell that was 2013, but this pregnancy has had very mild symptoms. I really can't complain. I remember every morning waking up during my first trimester and just expecting that morning sickness to hit. Ok, this is the day I'm gonna throw up. But I never did. I've had no aversions to food, no heartburn. A lot of times I would forget that I was pregnant altogether. Then I would remember and you couldn't wipe the smile off my face no matter how hard you tried. Now it's pretty impossible to forget with my growing bump and little kicks I'm starting to feel :) I know I still have a bit more than halfway to go, but I'm so thankful for making it this far with little complaints. I know that is not something to take lightly (I've heard plenty of horror stories while sharing mine..).

This time last year I know my head and heart were in such a different place. This time next year we'll have a little 8 month or so old baby to hug, love and enjoy. A lot can happen in a year and, depending on what that year brings, it can go by so quick, or painfully slow. This year so far has been such a blessing. As we welcome August, there are still five more months to go; and I plan to try and relish each and every moment of it.

Our little growing one:

 

6 weeks

13 weeks

18 weeks