Wednesday, December 24, 2014

The Start of Something New

This is how the birth of our little man started. I tried to be very descriptive because I don't want to forget a single detail! If you're interested, feel free to read to share in our joyful day :)

Estimated due date: December 27, 2014

Monday, December 15: First day of maternity leave. Feeling great, took a long walk and had lunch with a dear friend.

Tuesday, December 16: Lower back pain began in the morning. Tried many different positions around the home to ease the pain, including yoga, hot shower, massage.

Wednesday, December 17: Felt nauseated in the morning, back pain continued throughout the day. At times, so intense it brought me to tears. Continued with trying home remedies to ease pain.

Thursday, December 18: Had an OB appointment in the morning and my first exam. Was told I'm fully effaced, 3cm and baby is in station 0 (deep in pelvis)! Tried (and failed) not to get my hopes up that this baby is coming soon. Lower back pain subsided in the afternoon after a long nap. Took a walk, rested.

Friday, December 19: Lower back pain continued off and on throughout the day, other symptoms including diarrhea and bouts of energy bursts.

Saturday, December 20: Felt great and had hardly any symptoms all day.

Judah's birthday, Sunday, December 21...

I'd been wondering for several days when our little man would make his appearance. To find out I was 3cm on Thursday and then to have the symptoms 'disappear' by Saturday, I was starting to feel like maybe my OB had made a mistake, even though that was not likely. My thoughts and emotions floated back and forth from wanting to just meet our little guy and then trying to just enjoy our last few days with just the two of us.

I woke up Sunday morning feeling fine. My lower back pain began in the afternoon around 12:30PM. I contacted my Doula to let her know since she'd been on-call since my 37th week. She told me to relax and see if they would go away like before. Then, shortly after hanging up with her, came the moment: "Phil, I think my bag of waters just leaked." Oh. This is happening!

It wasn't a huge gush like you see in movies (although it may be that way for many women). My contractions started soon after that as well and were coming quite quickly and intense.

Rachel, our Doula, made her arrival to our house by 1PM. I worked through a few contractions at home before we decided to make our walk across the street to the hospital to get checked out. I got a room right away and was given the external monitors to hear that sweet little heartbeat and make sure everything was ok. The nurse then informed me, after an exam, that I was 7-8cm. I was very focused on my Hypnobabies that was playing in my headphones but I do remember hearing that tidbit of information. Whoa..that means I'll be pushing soon. How am I doing this? I'm doing this; I can't believe I'm doing this. The focus in that moment is indescribable and one that I'm sure I'll only fully recall once I'm in the situation again.

After about an hour and a half, I was told I was fully dilated and could push if I felt the urge. Boy what a switch it felt to go from contractions to knowing that I'd be pushing my baby out. That was, by far, the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. The most forefront thought the entire time was I have the ability to push our baby out and then we'll get to meet him. Phil and Rachel were both rock stars
coaching me through every single push and motivating me to meet our son. Then, just when I thought I had absolutely nothing left in me and the doctor would have to help me get him out, I pushed our little boy into the world at 7:23PM on December 21, 2014. The doctor placed him right on my chest and, wow, how is that moment even describable with words? I couldn't believe this baby came out of me and that he was all mine and Phil's. Pure joy, relief, love, exhaustion, oxytocin.

The days since have been new, tiring, rewarding, full of ups and downs as Phil and I maneuver our way through taking care of this new little person. One of the kind nurses at the hospital said it best: welcome to parenthood, the hardest yet most rewarding thing you'll ever do. 

There's no way I would've been able to give birth without my wonderful support team. Thank you God for the wonderful birthing nurses who dedicate their lives to making this experience a positive one. A fellow recent mama shared her experience of the delivery nurses that I share wholeheartedly, check it out here. My husband and Doula were both exactly what I needed as well; massaging me through each contraction and coaching me through each push. Thank God for community, thank God for each other, and I thank God for our little Judah Nathaniel who has changed our lives for the better.


Saturday, November 22, 2014

Grateful

How can this belly possibly get any bigger?

I will never again take for granted putting on pants, socks, shoes..basically anything that requires bending over after this baby is born...

Hm, who knew I could twist this way: while maneuvering shaving my legs in the shower.

These are all some recent thoughts that I've been having, multiple times throughout the weeks, that I'm sure every pregnant mama has had at some point or another.

I've had a lot of time for reflection over the past 8 months and while I am entering my 35th week of pregnancy, one thought has overpowered all of the others. It's more than just a thought though, but rather an overpowering sense of complete and utter gratefulness. Grateful. How can one word sum up how I have felt for the past 35 weeks? It can't, really. But I will try to let it.

My drive home from work every day usually includes listening to worship music and talking to our wee little one growing inside of me. I think about what it will be like to drive with him behind me in his car seat. What it will be like to cuddle with him for hours in the home where we're awaiting his arrival. What it will be like to watch Phil embrace fatherhood with the selflessness and confidence that has been such a rock throughout my pregnancy. And, over and over, I am brought to tears of feeling so completely grateful.

If you don't already know this about me: I'm a planner. I love to read, research and gain as much knowledge about something I'm passionate about as possible. This pregnancy has been no exception. However, even through reading and knowing exactly what my body is doing to prepare for birth, it still amazes me that it knows exactly what to do without my even thinking about it.

With 5 weeks left (until my due date, which is really a "month date") I can't say pregnancy is all peaches and cream. I have been so very lucky to have had a comfortable pregnancy, but, these days, this picture here pretty much sums up my attempts at sleep :) Bending over is also pretty much nonexistent so if I drop something on your floor, please excuse me while I don't event attempt to pick it back up. My thoughts can't help but go to the big day and just what exactly it will be like. I'm a little nervous but mostly excited. Excitement to see just what my body, and mind, are capable of. And oh so excited to meet the little person that is half of me and half of Phil.


34 Weeks

Friday, August 1, 2014

Becoming a Mom

I've always been one of those people that has trouble living in the now. I'm always looking forward to the next weekend, to the next vacation, our next milestone. But, friends, in this moment in my life, I am forcing myself to slow down and inhale the sweetness that is the present. I want to remember every feeling, good or bad. I want to revel in every stretch and change my body and life is going through now. Because friends, you see, I'm growing a little HUMAN at this present moment.

Phil and I have gone through a lot to get to this point, a lot more than I ever would have predicted at the beginning of our journey to grow our family. Last year was, hands down, the hardest year Phil and I have ever been through, together and individually. But, thanks to our merciful God, friends and family, we made it through with emotional scars that are a road map to our journey today. Right now.

And, right now, I'm pregnant and in absolute bliss. Truly, deeply and with my whole heart, I love being pregnant! When I sit down and really think about what my body has been doing these past 19 weeks, my mind is absolutely blown. I'm so amazed by how God designed women's bodies to grow and adapt to a little person being formed inside the uterus. From the beginning of my pregnancy to today, our little one has grown from the size of a sesame seed to a grapefruit - what?! At this point, our baby can swallow, suck their thumb and hear the sounds outside. I am just so in love.

I don't know if it's because God thought I needed a break from the hell that was 2013, but this pregnancy has had very mild symptoms. I really can't complain. I remember every morning waking up during my first trimester and just expecting that morning sickness to hit. Ok, this is the day I'm gonna throw up. But I never did. I've had no aversions to food, no heartburn. A lot of times I would forget that I was pregnant altogether. Then I would remember and you couldn't wipe the smile off my face no matter how hard you tried. Now it's pretty impossible to forget with my growing bump and little kicks I'm starting to feel :) I know I still have a bit more than halfway to go, but I'm so thankful for making it this far with little complaints. I know that is not something to take lightly (I've heard plenty of horror stories while sharing mine..).

This time last year I know my head and heart were in such a different place. This time next year we'll have a little 8 month or so old baby to hug, love and enjoy. A lot can happen in a year and, depending on what that year brings, it can go by so quick, or painfully slow. This year so far has been such a blessing. As we welcome August, there are still five more months to go; and I plan to try and relish each and every moment of it.


Our little growing one:
 
6 weeks
13 weeks
18 weeks
  
                       



Thursday, March 7, 2013

Skin Revival for Spring

Boy oh boy am I glad to see that spring is coming! Not that you could tell, as I'm writing this, the snow is falling thickly outside. But, with daylight savings beginning this weekend, I'm holding on to hope that warmer weather will follow. I thought I'd do a fun little blog update with some ideas of skin care in case anyone out there is looking for some new products for the spring. If you're like me, winter strips my skin of its glow and my combination skin comes full circle. The dry air causes some dry patches yet some areas are still oily - fun times! Here are some products that helped me out this winter that I will be carrying into spring with me.

Clarisonic Mia, $120

The Clarisonic Mia is my favorite skin tool! It's not the cheapest but it's well worth the price tag. Ideally, we'd all be getting facials monthly, but who has the money for that (or the time [insert - Ain't Nobody Got Time for That! here - haven't seen the video? Go Youtube it!])? You can either use it daily or several times a week and it does a great job of exfoliating your skin to bring out the beautiful layers underneath. And for you men interested in sloughing off dead skin cells (gross, right?), there are some manly colors to choose from as well, don't you worry. Purchase here!

Orig $27, on sale for $16

Ah, this little booster is a miracle! I got it on half-price sale during their holiday promotion and as I'm writing this blog, it's currently 40% off. Even at full price, a little bit goes a long way so it'll last you a while (I bought mine Christmas 2011 and there's about 1/3 left). It brightens your skin and acts as a great primer for makeup. Purchase here!

$15.50, also on sale though for $9!





Another Body Shop gem: Tea Tree Face Mask. Since we're not going to get facials monthly, we're all doing masks at home regularly, right? Yeah, I'm not either. But, when I do, I use this and it makes my skin feel extremely fresh and clean. It deep cleans, heals blemishes and fades redness. Love it! Purchase here!


Approx $10-15

No skin care regimen is complete without lotion. I like simple lotions and have found Cetaphil's gentle lotion to be unbeatable. I have sensitive skin and it treats me well by moisturizing and not irritating my skin. If you're looking for a new moisturizer - give it a try! Purchase here!


Let me know if anyone decides to try any of these products and how it works for you :) Happy spring!



Sunday, September 23, 2012

Life right now

I always intend to blog more. Intentions lead to my blogging only twice a year it seems, but I'm here now, so...

One of Coldplay's amazing light shows
In case you're wondering, following my previous post, Coldplay was absolutely phenomenal! They put on a great show with lights, beach balls, wristbands synced to the music and confetti. Phil and I had a great time.

More recently, there has been a lot of change in our lives. Side note: I am no good with change. I like things to stay the way I'm used to them. Well, just about everything I was used to was uprooted on September 1st as Phil and I embarked on a new adventure to a new state, a new job for Phil and the ultimate goal of living closer to our family. The months that led up to the move, I struggled with hesitation, doubt and worry. What if this new job doesn't work out? What if we don't like our new town? Phil, on the other hand, was solid as a rock, open to new opportunities and excited for the change. Being married to Phil has taught me a lot about treating change as a good thing rather than something to avoid at all costs.

After living in our new town for a little over 3 weeks now, I'm so happy I dove into this big change (ok, maybe dipped my big toe and then sunk in slowly). Warwick, NY is just the cutest town! It's very different than where we moved from. You have to drive at least 30 minutes to reach any kind of shopping that we're used to, yet in Warwick itself are little family owned shops that hold one-of-a-kind treasures to browse through. The roads around here are more rural and it takes longer to get places, yet there's no traffic and I get to enjoy the mountains and lakes while I drive. Warwick puts on summer concerts, has weekly farmer's markets and is close to many home grown farms and produce. Most importantly, we're able to see my sisters, brother in law, niece and nephews so much more. It's so great having that support system so close. I'm learning, change is good.

Every weekend so far, Phil and I have been hitting up a few local yard sales. Why haven't I been doing this all along?! Since we have a much bigger place now, we have more rooms to furnish and a list of things to buy for our home. We've found some great deals but my favorite has been a buffet table for our dining room that we re-finished.
After
Before
You can't really tell from the before and after pictures, but a lot of hard work went into this table! We sanded, stained, painted a layer of semi-gloss, sanded again and then finished with a high gloss! It was a fun little DIY project that I can proudly display for about $200 less than we would've paid brand new.

I'm very grateful for my life right now. I'm grateful for a supportive husband who goes out of his way to be kind, patient and romantic. I'm grateful for my sisters and how close I live to them now. I'm grateful for my opportunity to try new things and figure out what I want to do with my career.

Thank God for change because, without it, things would just always stay the same.

Monday, December 19, 2011

Concerts.

I love concerts. There's simply nothing like the energy of a crowd as the main act gets ready to play. I love the pulse of the music, the bright lights, and simply the sound of live music. Everyone is there for one purpose: to witness something great.

My favorite show has some great quotes about concerts:
"...It's like when you go and see a really great band, live for the first time and, you know, and nobody's saying it, but everybody's thinking it, we have something to believe in again."

"Every song has a CODA, a final movement, whether it fades out or crashes away. Every song ends, is that any reason not to enjoy the music?"

Over the weekend I bought 2 tickets to see Coldplay in concert July 2012. Even though it's over a half-year away, I find myself excited already. It got me reminiscing about all the concerts I've been to and the great memories I've accumulated from each one. I decided to compile my most memorable moments from each concert I've been to. I'm sure I'm missing a few but as I think of more, I'll add to the list (or you can remind me of one we went to together in the comments!).

Nsync. This was my first concert ever. I was 13. It was 2000. Nsync was going on tour. I had to go! There's no denying I was fully immersed in the boy band craze (and, if I'm being honest with myself, haven't quite grown out of it as of today...). This was their No Strings Attached tour and me and a friend, Anna, were die-hard Nsync fans. We got our nose bleed tickets for the July 21st show at the (then) First Union Spectrum (now Wells Fargo Center). It didn't matter that once we got there all we could see were little tiny dots on the stage. All that mattered to us was that we were breathing the same air as Justin Timberlake! Oh. My. God! I do remember my Dad dropping us off and picking us up for that concert. At the time I remember wanting him to drop us off around the corner so no one saw, now I'm surprised he let me go to a concert without parental supervision at 13. My funniest memory of the concert (although at the time was the single most appropriate response to the situation) was hysterically crying when JT came out and sang "This I Promise You." There was no question, of course he was singing it to me.

Default. This was my first concert with my Dad. I can't remember the exact year but I believe it was around the same time or year of the Nsync concert. The difference here: not only was I not embarrassed to be going to a concert with my Dad, I felt cool because I knew my Dad had the "inside scoop" to rock music. My Dad was a musician in his 20s and is a wizz on the guitar. I knew this was my Dad's realm, and I loved it. I remember feeling very protected at this concert. Both by my Dad and by the music. I think this was when I truly fell in love with live music (sorry Nsync). It was at the Theatre of Living Arts in Philadelphia and, if you've ever been there, you know how intimate the place is. I felt like I was a part of the band, a part of their process. Default has since come and gone, but I'll never forget this concert.

Y100 FEASTival. This was one kick-ass concert! It was 2003 in Camden, NJ and my friend from high school, Stephanie, and I went with her Mom. One poignant memory from our drive there stands out. We were driving there, in traffic, late, and Stephanie and I had to pee really bad. All we had were some water bottles so we took the opportunity to learn how to pee in a small necked water bottle without spilling. I gotta say, I did pretty good. The concert featured 311, The Offspring, Dashboard Confessional, The Used, Smile Empty Soul and Jet. I remember The Offspring kicking some serious ass. I know I crowd surfed quite a few times during their set, particularly during the song "The Kids Aren't Alright." (Listening to that song now and totally picturing a mosh pit that I want to be in...). I remember jumping up and down a LOT and flailing all about with the rest of the crowd. We had seated tickets, but that didn't stop us from making our way to the pit once the lights went down. 311 also put on a really great set and I've been a fan of theirs ever since.

All American Rejects. This was also at the Theatre of Living Arts on April 1, 2003 (and yes, if you must know, I'm using Google to help me find the dates and years). I went with Stephanie and we waited outside for a while before the concert started, fully prepared with our punk clothing attire and Converse sneakers. This was another intimate affair, but much more intimate than Default. I remember feeling so smushed at one point that I could hardly breathe. Then again, we were at the very front of the venue right up against the metal fence that separated us from running up on stage. Two things happened at this concert: 1. The main singer Tyson Ritter sweat right on my head. Literally. He was so close that the sweat dripped from his smoothly singing face right onto my forehead. I thought it was the best thing in the world. 2. One of the band mates threw their water bottle out into the crowd and I caught it. I brought it home with me and my Dad unintentionally threw it out the next day.

Jessica Simpson. This was in 2004 at the outdoor Hershey Park Pavilion. It was July 2nd and a blistering hot day. There were chairs but since it was outdoors, I remember running to the front to snap a few up-close photos of JSimps. I remember thinking She's so beautiful and I do know that she sung live, so that's always good. I did get quite a few good photos from this concert but, unfortunately, digital cameras weren't popular yet and I only have them in good old fashioned print so you'll have to just take my word for it.

Finch. This band was my absolute favorite through most of high school. I used to listen to their What It Is to Burn CD every day on the bus ride to and from school with my Discman. I had every lyric memorized. Finch played at the Theater of Living Arts and I went with my best friend Tori and another good friend, Mason. I definitely lost my voice at this concert because I was singing along to every song, every line, every word. I was engrossed in the moment and didn't care that my throat was screaming at me. After they left the stage, I was not satisfied with leaving. Tori, Mason and I asked a bouncer outside if he knew when Finch would be out and he directed us around the back of the venue. We just walked inside a door, up some stairs and hey! there's Finch sitting in their dressing room. I took off my Converse sneaker and threw it to the lead singer, Nate, asking him to sign it. He did, threw it back, and told us we couldn't be up here and needed to leave. We left with no fuss but not before I yelled how much their music had changed me.

Saosin. I trekked once again to the Theater of Living Arts on November 3, 2007 to see Saosin with a dear friend Charlene. This concert was so full of energy and hard-core moshing. One of my all-time favorite songs by them "Voices" was also one of my favorite moments at this concert. Charlene and I had listened to the CD on the way to the concert and I remember hearing the CD version of this song and just itching to hear it live. When that moment came and they played the first few riffs I just went to a place of euphoria. I remember looking up at the ceiling, closing my eyes, and just letting the lyrics and sound wash over me. That was one moment I will never forget. The feeling I had, knowing that music, or even a single song, can define how I'm feeling. Charlene was such a fun concert buddy and we danced, moshed and scream-sang the night away from start to finish.

Panic at the Disco. This one I also went to with Charlene and it was March 2008 in Philadelphia. It was pure entertainment from start to finish. The set looked like a circus and the costumes and dancers were outrageous. Panic! put on a great set and had me up and out of my seat the entire time. The one rather regrettable memory I have of this concert is accidentally punching Charlene in the face in the midst of my jumping and screaming. Quite the sport, she laughed it off and kept dancing with me. Sorry Char!

Glee. June 8, 2011 at the Wells Fargo Center. I went with my friend Sarah and boy did the actors and actresses from Glee put on a show! They did a set of songs from the show and reenacted some scenes as well. There were lights, costumes, awesome dancing. Oh yeah, and this A Capella group called The Warblers. Needless to say, my and Sarah's fan girl reactions arose full surface on this fine date in Philly. I do know that the concert felt short for the amount of money we paid for our tickets, but it was still a great time and I'm an even bigger fan of the show now. The Glee LIVE concert movie showed in theaters (yes, I saw that too) and is now out on DVD if you'd like to experience what I experienced in a less awesome fashion. And that's what you missed on GLEE!

Britney. There's a reason this woman has been entertaining for over a decade. She knows how to entertain! My sister Jes graciously went to this concert with me even though she's not exactly a fan (though she did know a lot of the words - go Jes!). On August 5, 2011 I finally saw Britney in concert after being a fan since 1998's "Baby One More Time." This was her Femme Fatale tour and it was quite the spectacle! There were trapeze artists, fireworks, crazy props, and real live singing from Brit Brit herself! Nicki Minaj opened for Britney and she was a mini-concert herself. She sang almost all her songs from Pink Friday and was good enough that I'd pay to see her individually! My favorites from this concert were Britney singing "Til the World Ends" as her encore, seeing her first come out on the stage singing "Hold it Against Me," and witnessing her infamous dance moves in person.

So those are my highlights of concerts I will always remember and cherish. I am looking forward to adding Coldplay to this list!

Saturday, June 4, 2011

A Birthday to be Remembered

June 3, 2011 was a great day. I'm writing this to share my joy in that day, but also to preserve the memories that I never want to forget.

Phil and I have been using each birthday's as an opportunity to surprise each other with something special. For Phil's 23rd birthday I took him to Longwood Gardens. For my 23rd Phil rented us a boat and we laid out on the water for hours in a beautiful park. On Phil's 24th birthday I got us tickets to see Cirque du Soleil in Philly. And for my 24th, well, Phil made me feel just downright special and loved :)

The morning of June 3rd Phil drove us to Nockamixon State Park about 45 minutes away. He had planned out a trail route for us and packed a picnic lunch with sandwiches, salads, and fruit. It was a gorgeous day, high of 75F, sunny and clear blue skies. We got to the park around 11:30 and started off on our hiking adventure! We missed the trail a few times but it was fun to spend time together outdoors and see all the beautiful wildlife. Phil is not usually the outdoorsy type so it was nice of him to think of something he knew I'd enjoy but wouldn't necessarily choose for himself.


After hiking for about an hour, we ended up at this beautiful spot right
near the river. We ended up stopping here and had our picnic lunch. Phil had bought a cooler so everything stayed cold. I'll tell ya, this guy can really plan every little detail! After we had finished lunch, we hiked back to the car. We took a different trail back and ended up trekking through some high grass, but it just added more to our whole adventure!


Once we got back to the car, Phil said he had our next stop planned nearby. About 10 minutes later, we arrived at a cute little creamery, OWowCow. They make their own ice cream, toppings, and whipped cream! It was oh so delish! We got a hot
fudge sundae with l
emon ginger ice cream. YUM!
We stuffed our faces full of ice cream and then headed back home.

When we got home, Phil told me that I probably wanted to shower before my next surprise. Sure I was muddy from our hiking adventures, but wasn't in the mood to shower again. Phil pushed it enough though that I finally decided that he probably had a reason to be so adamant...

Around 4:30 we headed out again and Phil dropped me off at Sedona Salon & Spa! He told me I was set up for a 90 minute Swedish Massage. Does my husband know me or what? (I was also thankful that I had showered, thanks Phil!) I asked Phil what he would do while I was getting my massage but he simply said, "Don't worry about it." So I didn't.

An hour and a half later, I was relaxed and mellow. Phil picked me up and took us to our next stop: The Cheesecake Factory for dinner! I had Crusted Romano Chicken and Phil got the pulled pork sandwich. Boy oh boy is their food good... Phil even told them it was my birthday so they came over and sung to me with a piece of cake!
Not that either of us had room for cake, but we managed a few bites before we boxed everything up and drove home! Full of food, love, and gratitude for my wonderful husband, I wasn't quite sure what else Phil could possibly have planned but he said it wasn't over yet!

We got home around 9:00 and after dropping off my things in the closet, I looked up to see a beautiful assortment of roses in a vase waiting for me on the living room table (turns out this was what Phil was doing while I was getting my massage!). I walked over and opened the breathtakingly beautiful birthday card that Phil had gotten me with the roses. With tears brimming over, I read on the card that there was still one more present! Phil told me to wait here and ran upstairs. He came down with a box. I opened it, teary-eyed, and found a brand new Amazon Kindle inside! I love to read so this was a very well thought out gift. The night ended with two exhausted, full, and happy people!

I hope I expressed enough to Phil just how much today meant to me. The intricate planning and time spent to make this a special day for me shone through in the excitement he had throughout the whole day. I am blown away by how kind hearted and thoughtful my husband is and can't thank God enough for sending him to me. Here's to another wonderful year in which I hope to share that same love and appreciation back to my husband everyday.